Damn It, There Goes Coffee!


So you know how pretty much everything’s bad for you these days? From cellphones to breathing air, we are now finding we’re little wiser than the Victorians when it comes to exposing ourselves to harmful substances or environments. We’re basically one deregulation away from selling women mercury and lead-based cosmetics again.

Well, it appears coffee has made the list of things it is probably best we avoid, much to the chagrin of coffee lovers across the globe. While the average person knows coffee isn’t exactly good for them, it turns out it is a bit worse than we thought.

Provided below is a list of “13 little known facts about coffee,” compiled by Take Care 4. We’ve focused on the most concerning points listed. To see the full list, click here.

Caffeine is an alkaloid:

In its purest form, caffeine “exists as a white powdered alkaloid with an intensely bitter taste,” (source). While this substance stimulates the central nervous system in humans and animals – ultimately warding off sleep – the plant itself uses this alkaloid to kill any bugs that try to eat its seeds. As a natural insecticide, that means it’s killing living cells.

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Coffee has negative effects on the brain:

You can find plenty of reports that insist coffee doesn’t kill brain cells, but unfortunately, it has been found that many years of heavy coffee drinking causes the same damage to the brain as some illegal drugs, like cocaine. Neuroscientist and psychiatrist at the University of California, Daniel G. Amen, claims that this damage can even result in a pattern of holes in the brain similar to that of Alzheimer patients.

Coffee doesn’t actually give energy:

When describing the effects of caffeine, many sources simply state that it increases alertness. What they don’t explain, is how.

The human body actually recognizes caffeine as a poison, which is why it produces an urge in some people to move their bowels (take a poop) through a process called “peristalsis.” The body is trying to expel the poison.

Another effect this poison has on the body, is triggering our “fight or flight” response. This gives the body a burst of its own adrenaline (no form of energy is provided by the caffeine itself), and the unnecessary expenditure of this stored energy later causes the dreaded “coffee crash.”

The idea that coffee gives us energy is an illusion. We’re just needlessly putting our bodies through more stress.

Coffee drops our IQ:

This point of concern goes with the last; when the fight or flight response is triggered, “the lower IQ centers of the brain are activated as well as hormonal systems in control of aggression, violence, irrational and illogical decision making, jealousy, rage, anger, fear and paranoia,” according to Take Care 4. Numerous studies support this.

Finally, we thought we’d leave you with this:

Coffee is proven to cause an enlarged prostate, high anxiety, insomnia, depression, birth defects, pain syndromes, unnatural breathing patterns, brain damage, hyperactivity, learning disorders (from the brain damage), behavior disorders, fatigue, certain types of cancer, Crohns, IBS, colitis, carpel tunnel, ulcers, low iron, heart disease, headaches, PMS, increased incidence of muscle and tendon injury, joint pain, heart attack, stroke, TIA’s (mini strokes)… and that’s the short list.”

Too much of anything usually isn’t good for you – did you know drinking too much water can kill you? Fun fact. But in moderation, coffee does have its health benefits.

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  1. This article is not accurate in the slightest. Caffeine works by tricking neurons to pick up it instead of adenosine (the hormone that makes you tired.) There is no credible evidence to suggest that coffee is “poision” nor does it drop your IQ. If you drink less than 3 cups a day you should expect no health risks at all.

  2. What about all the other plant-based alkaloids found green tea , yerba mate and damn near everything else people drink to keep them awake during the day?

  3. It is not specified what kind of coffee is this about.
    Robusta has 2 – 4,5% caffeine and Arabica 1 – 1,7%
    Many factors make the difference. How is roasted, prepared… and quantity, of course.


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